- More than a Feeling
- The Group For The South Fork
- Looking Ahead: The “Must List” as opposed to the “A” List
More than a Feeling
On Saturday June 18, 2005 I left my apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, got into the Jeep and head to The Group for the South Fork Benefit & Auction at the Wolffer Estate Vineyard. As I passed through the city limits and hit the Northern State Parkway, encountering minimal traffic I became immersed in the music playing on the radio. I was feeling somewhat introspective about summers past and what might lay for me ahead this year when while listening to Jack 101.1 FM ironically an anthem from my summer youth on Cape Cod, "More than a Feeling" written by Tom Scholz from the Band, Boston came on the radio.
I looked out this morning and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away
So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away
When I’m tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away. she slipped away.
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away.
-Tom Scholz
So many profound and memorable experiences in my life have occurred between Memorial Day and Labor Day from falling in love with a woman I wanted to marry, to breaking up with someone I cared for deeply to the death of my father. Music has a way of affecting me. It transports me back to memories of specific times, places and people. There is unquestionably a gravitational pull for me each year to discover/experience something new on the East End of Long Island, even if it is only something about myself. In the midst of the summer sun, long days at the beach and generous helpings of local wine, I somehow always seem to find it. Also if you know how to socialize, it becomes easier to find intellectually compatible people who’s dialogue influences and enables your own dreams. The dreams of life, for me, are seen through the eyes of a beautiful woman and the long legs of a full bodied glass of local wine in the Hamptons sun. This summer I hope to have the opportunity to make some meaningful connections which alter the course of my life; romantically or otherwise. It is what I aspire to. Who knows what is in store for me? And I say that with pleasure and not apprehension or fear. I embrace the uncertainty of the future much in the same way a young child anticipates opening his presents on Christmas morning. It is a glass is half full rather than half empty outlook. I do not fear what might happen. I look forward to what could happen. Perhaps this year, however, I will close my eyes, no longer dream of a girl I use to know and forget the one that slipped away. That in it self would be an accomplishment.
Far from being entrenched in the local community, I do not own a home in the Hamptons nor am I a fixture on the local social scene. As somewhat of an outsider who’s life is firmly based in Manhattan, in quarters which are far more humble than many of the homes I visit, I have a unique vantage point. Dropping in to observe, take notes, snap a few photos makes it easier to blend in and capture the essence of what is happening without drawing to much attention to myself. It took me a long time to realize that what my parents told me as a kid was true. “Christopher, you will learn more by listening and observing than speaking and illustrating how much you do not know.”
Each visit is refreshing and different. My objective is not to “out scoop” another journalist, expose some one well known or snap a photo that nobody will ever get. Much to the contrary, the objective is to study and understand the motivations and aspirations of select individuals, especially the social and charitably minded. Since this is my passion, I have the luxury of covering people and organizations who’s mission inherently interest me.
The Group For The South Fork Benefit & Auction.
I have reverence for those who through their power of pocket, influence or both devote themselves to one of mankind’s highest callings, which is preservation of the environment in which we live. As a proud New Yorker who loves the city, this state, and what being a New Yorker means, I have a special regard for those who focus their attention in particular on the preservation of our local natural resources, from Central Park to the Hamptons.
The Group for the South Fork held their annual benefit and auction on Saturday, June 18 at the Wölffer Estate Vineyard on Sagg Road in Sagaponack, Long Island. Almost 500 supporters turned out on a picturesque evening to fill the spacious, white festive tents set up on the vineyard grounds, to raise over $515,000 for The Group for the South Fork, the Hamptons only local environmental advocacy and educational organization, committed to preserving and protecting the natural resources in East Hampton, Southampton and Shelter Island for over 30 years.
Among the attendees were event Chairman Dick Cavett, who helped with the live auction which brought in $92,000,designer Nicole Miller, Ellin and Ron Delsener, Ann Colley of the Moore Charitable Foundation (directed by Louis Bacon & his wife Cynthia Ingraham), Somers White, Cynthia and Dan Lufkin, Debbie Bancroft, Jonathan Farkas, WB11 News Anchor Jim Watkins and his wife Lauren Thierry, designer Douglas Hannant and Frederick Anderson, Chappy Morris and Melissa Stanley, Congressman Tim Bishop, Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richtofen, Cindy Adams and Robert Zimmerman, Alix Michel and Van Cushny, designer Michelle Farmer and husband Peter Farmer, attorney Sal Strazzullo and Maxim cover girl Jodi Fanelli, chic cleaners Madame Paulette’s John Mahdessian and Beata Borowska, pop artist Michael Perez of Southampton’s Job’s Lane Pop Art Gallery, Charlie and Kristen Krusen, Amy and John Griffin, Lizzie Mitchell, Brandon Pracht, Heather Henricksen, Melissa DeMouche and Scott Lamb, Hayley and Stuart Boesky, Roy Judelson and Mary Judelson, President Bob DeLuca and Christian Wölffer who hosted.
As guests entered the cocktail tent, they couldn’t help but notice the orange lights glowing on the bar, while classic sounds of the keyboard filled the room. Over 100 silent auction items were on display and included items from David Yurman, Ralph Lauren, Alvin Ailey Dance Theatre, Kevin Maple Salon, a three night stay at the HRH Resort’s Hampton Baby Beach Club, a shopping outing with style guru Barbara Sussberg, Michael Perez’ hand painted designer jeans, hand-crafted outdoor garden fountain designed in Bali, Indonesia courtesy of The Furniture Garden, and a 27” Panasonic color television with VCR and DVD courtesy of Sebonack Golf Club. Guests enjoyed hors d’oeuvres such as pan seared Scallops, Wild Mushroom and cheese Quesadillas with mango Salsa and local Long Island Potatoes piped with crème fraiche and caviar. As the crowd moved into the dinner tent, they were wowed by the white lanterns hanging on the ceiling and large bamboo shoots surrounding the poles. The white table clothes were set with pink Peonies and white daisies. Dinner included a Lobster salad and Chicken Breast stuffed with Ricotta and Wild Mushroom stuffing all catered by Janet O’brien Caterers, After the live auction which included items such as an Elvis Presley vacation donated by Robert Sillerman; Golfing at Shinnecock and East Hampton Country Club; a one week stay at a St. Martin Villa, which went for $9,000 donated by Louis and Susan Meisel and was “gotten” by Scott Fleig of Sothebys, guests danced to the Bruce Saunders Orchestra playing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s until midnight. 
Later, an after-party was held at Cain at Cabana in Southampton where Fat Joe performed and a host of socialites and celebrities including Star Jones Reynolds, Amanda Hearst, Lauren Bush, Marisa Bregman, Luigi Tadini, Nick Raynes and Patrick McMullan partied into the wee hours.
Looking Ahead: The Must List as opposed to the A List
Over some spirited dialoque, great food and a few glasses of wine at Nick & Toni’s in East Hampton I discussed with local friends, Shamin Abas, jewelry designer Michelle Farmer their Hamptons “Must List.” That led me part the way there. When I got back to New York, I consulted with New York’s Top Health & Beauty Publicist Katherine Rothman about her Hamptons “Must List” for the summer and also took a look at the Hamptons View Summer Calendar and began to reflect.
Summer in the Hamptons is an embodiment of the American Dream. Independence Day is a day of national celebration in the heart of summer. This is when the summer begins in earnest. There is a reason why this is the “land of the free and home of the brave.” Many valiant Americans have fought and died for us to enjoy the American way of life. Our Independence as a people is more than a feeling. It is a cause for celebration, a celebration of life. It is down right unpatriotic to not exercise, relish and enjoy the freedoms granted living in our free society. As you look around you this Independence Day weekend amidst festivities that make the French Bastille Day look like an intimate cocktail party, to quote the Beastie Boys….consider how many Americans had to “fight for your right to party.”
When you encounter long lines in restaurants, your favorite boutiques, lounges and restaurants or traffic on Route 27 rather than getting frustrated, look at it this way instead. Many others are participating in living the American Dream along side of you. There are billions of people around the world who would like to be in your shoes with the opportunity to live the life that you have the opportunity to live. Live it. Love it.
The Hamptons offer an overwhelming and abundant array of choices to celebrate life. One could get brain freeze if you actually stopped to think about it. Recent conversations with friends have centered on what they should be doing and who they should be spending their time with this July 4th weekend and beyond. I was regularly asked how to procure invitations to the proverbial "A" List events? “Chris, what do I need to do to get invited to P. Diddy’s White Party? Their queries, however, seemed more fraught with anxiety and apprehension than genuine enthusiasm or comprehension as to the true significance of "Independence" Day.
Patronizing the right social and charity events in the Hamptons can certainly be a worthwhile social mission. To become consumed or preoccupied, however, with where you think you should be to the exclusion of where you want to be is not only sad but a waste of time. Nearly everything you do in the Hamptons from shopping, getting a spa treatment, dining out, clubbing and patronizing different charity events will afford you the opportunity to mingle among those who are seen regularly in the Society pages of local and national magazines, if that is your thing. While I can vividly recall some of my fondest summer memories indexed by calendar year in the memory banks of brain, many of the best experiences were not planned in pursuit of some misguided notion of what constitutes the "A List".
As I have stated in a previous entry, most of us have grown accustomed to the List, the Velvet Rope, the VIP Section, the Co-op Board etc as symbols or social constructs designed to exclude based upon elements of perceived status or lack thereof. Whether based upon wealth, power, pedigree, beauty, intelligence or artistic, professional or entrepreneurial accomplishment, the process of getting on the list, being considered for the list and attaining it is a sign for many that they have arrived or are connected, wired in etc. Potential exclusion is the attraction. Getting beyond it is obviously the goal for many, especially in the Summer months out East. For many the very idea of it is enough to make one stay at home.
Historical notions of what constitutes "Society", however, have loosened up with the proliferation of luxury lifestyle publications, society columns and photographers who each have their own take on what and who constitutes "Society" but also as a result somewhat with the commercialization and selling of status, including a reality culture gone mad that has given seemingly anyone and everyone their 15 Minutes of fame. As a new friend, Karen Salmon Sohn said to me today, "people used to be famous or well known for a reason but now people are well known for being famous." See also Social Life in a Blender.
While you may still often find some self-appointed guardian of the existing social order who is either assigned to determine or takes it upon him or herself to decide the proper element and whether in fact you qualify for consideration, in the Hamptons your access point to some of the season's most exclusive events is simply via a telephone call to the event planner to purchase a ticket.
My advice instead is to enjoy the summer, hand pick from among the extensive variety of highly publicized events. It is unfathomable that anything will be under publicized in the Hamptons this summer, but if there is an experience or a unique event that you are able to attend and for some reason the "A" List is not out in full force and effect, don’t let that spoil the experience for you. My best summers out east were spent spinning, doing yoga or Lotte Berk in the a.m., sleeping on the beach, casually shopping in the afternoon in East Hampton followed by a dinner at The Palm and meeting friends later on for intimate cocktails. It seems back then I did not know what the "A" List was. Maybe I was better off. Perhaps you will be too. There will be an abundance of mixing opportunities out east from which to pick from; be selective.
INDEPENDENCE. I challenge you instead to muster the courage to get socially introspective and design your own “Must List” of things to do this summer in the Hamptons. Will you commit to living a better, more meaningful and fulfilling life? What is your passion? What do you value? When you dream of summer and specifically summer in the Hamptons, what is it that you dream of? What will fulfill you and make you summer memorable and complete? When the summer is over or years have passed what will you want to remember? What will bring your pleasure, happiness and memories to last a life time? Pursue and craft your experience.
FOOD & WINE
-Breakfast at Poxibog
-Host an intimate and fabulous dinner party at home
-Sunday night dinner and cocktails at Sunset Beach on Shelter Island
-Dinner at Nick & Tonis & The Palm in East Hampton
-Wine tastings at the Wolffer Estate Vineyard
FUN
-Dancing under the stars at the Cantor Fitzgerald White Party Clam Bake Benefit at Indian Wells Beach
-Dancing on the tables at Resort in the white room
-Watching the Fireworks at Boys Harbor
-Shopping the strip in East Hampton, Bridgehampton
SUN: Try a new beach every weekend.
HEALTH & SPIRIT: If you exercise regimen during the work week is intense, centered around weight training, intense cycling or long runs, consider adding something to your program on weekend to nurture and repair your system like yoga, Pilates or massage.
-Yoga by the pool
-Massage: In home, on the beach or poolside. (check the Dan's Papers listings or call my friend, formerly, Manhattan based masseuse Margo Su San at 917-868-5574
* pick up a Dans Papers to check out the directory of listings in the back of the paper weekly.
EVENTS
-7/09/2005 The Parrish Art Museum Midsummer Gala: Special Events Office 631.283.2118 x 41 or email korczakk@parrishart.org
-7/16/2005 The Orchid Ball benefiting the Child Development Center of the Hamptons (631) 267-2734.
-7/23/2005 The Samuel Waxman Cancer Research Foundation's 2nd Annual Hamptons Happening Benefit (organized by event planner Harriette Rose Katz), (212) 241-1760
-7/30/2005 Art For Life (RUSH) Benefit & Garden Party at the home of Russell & Kimora Lee Simmons
-8/20/2005 The Animal Rescue Fund, Bow Wow Dinner Dance: (631) 537-0400.
Consider that the Hamptons offer far more than the opportunity to indulge and party. Many like Katherine Rothman head to seek peace and serenity from the stress of urban life. The Hamptons offer Katherine a platform to do the things that she cannot do in Manhattan. Katherine’s passion is yoga by the pool, patronage of some of the Hamptons best farm stands where she buys flowers to create personalized floral arrangements for all of her house guests. For Katherine, the picturesque scenery of the Hamptons and a simpler style of life are the allure.
Summer for me is about health, relaxation and rejuvenation. Enjoying good wine and intimate, intelligent and spirited conversation in the company of old and new friends fills my soul. Memories of summers past include kissing the woman I love under the stars and fireworks at Sagg Main Beach while we enjoyed a few cold Sam Adams and giggled like teenagers; flirting over cocktails at Sunset in Sag Harbor at B. Smiths; long weekends exploring all the local beaches, relaxing in the sun and reading every local publication; exercising my culinary skills to cook a several course meal for over a dozen friends while enjoying big bold glasses of cabernet sauvignon and grassy sauvignon blancs while listening to Frank Sinatra; dining with a few intimate friends at what will always be my favorite restaurant, The Palm in East Hampton.
More than a feeling and more than a dream, memories are made of dreams fulfilled. You have to be in the game to win the game. I well understand that there is a certain voyeuristic thrill as well as less risk observing from the sidelines. It is often, in fact, what I do with my camera, capturing some of the most beautiful of people enjoying life. But if you do not take a step in the water, a dip in the pool, you will never understand why others are swimming in it. Not all memories, to quote Barbara Streisand, need be “misty water colored memories.” My life as that of many others has certainly been filled with some of those. From the loss of my father which I am sadly reminded of each and every Father’s Day and two romantic breakups which were like kryptonite to this Superman.
Did you break up with someone before the summer started, encounter career transitional issues, have a big business deal blow up in your face? Surely, one must commit to taking the appropriate steps to rectify the ills in your life but it also can begin by filling your memory banks with more positive experiences, social interactions, friends made, times enjoyed. Every day is a new day. A life worth living is one that is constantly evolving forging ahead seeking new terrain. There is a better boyfriend or girlfriend on the horizon, another huge deal to get done and perhaps even a new career path which is yet to be discovered. Get out there, swim with the sharks and you just may encounter a few dolphins along the way to shepherd your journey to a higher place. Dream it, pursue it and live it. This is your life, your summer to take control and design.
I am bemused by prognosticators who annually pronounce the death of the Hamptons rationalizing that those fleeing are doing so to avoid immersing themselves in the self indulgent, opulent and superficial lifestyles of the rich and famous and those on the social circuit vying for their 15 minutes. The theory espoused is that the foregoing alienates vacation goers and if that is not enough a clogged Route 27, a single lane highway through much of the Hamptons will cause a resulting exodus to numerous destinations up and down the eastern seaboard: Woodstock and upstate New York to the Jersey Shore, Newport, Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, Cape Cod, Palm Beach and now with the ease of popping down to South Beach on Jet Blue, Florida as well. The above are all fine places to visit but the Hamptons thrive with an annual influx of the old and the new, the young and the old, those that are climbing the food chain and those who are firmly planted high atop the food chain. Writers far more eloquent than me have written extensively on the subject and why people, including you will invariably return to the Hamptons. It is a fact, not mere conjecture. In a nutshell the reasons are very simple.
There is something for everyone in the Hamptons. You love the country, outdoors and nature. You got it. You want a choice of some of the most beautiful and pristine beaches in the world? You got it. Where else can you be in the country and at the beach at the same time? Where else can you drive by a corn field you could swear was in Iowa because it looked like The Field of Dreams, make a turn, drive a ½ mile and look out at the Atlantic Ocean from a white sandy beach? New Yorkers are by nature "foodie's" at heart. How can you not be living in the culinary capital of the world? The endless array of farm stands selling the freshest Long Island grown produce that you will find anywhere is readily available. Long Island corn, tomatoes and strawberries and potatoes are among the best in the world. The wine produced on Long Island in local vineyards is growing immensely in stature on a global basis. Perhaps not quite Napa Valley because the conditions there are certainly more ideal, but a grilled steak from the local butcher in East Hampton with a Long Island potato, fresh corn on the cob and a big bold glass of Long Island Chardonnay works fine with me. Feast on New York I say. Keep local farmers in business and we will all benefit.
The spirit of philanthropy is in full bloom and very much alive and well on the east end this summer. It is an annual Hamptons ritual. Cocktails and check writing in grandiose settings filled with beautiful people, dressed in the finest clothes, casual but stylish. I prefer it myself over the urban black tie. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" are distilled to an art form in the Hamptons. From Southampton to Easthampton the most affluent who regularly compete against one in another in the game of life on the streets, boardrooms, court rooms and exchanges of the big city bring their friendly competition to see who can give away the most money on the east end of Long Island. From Memorial Day to Labor Day the social calendar is full with a multitude of worthwhile common causes, community and charitable events benefitting those less fortunate. (photo; Betsey Johnson & Lulu Johnson modeling Michelle Farmer designs)
The Group for the South Fork hosted a grand opening reception of the Ezair Gallery on Main Street in Southampton last Saturday night. Friends and supporters included Nicole Miller, Cynthia Rowley, Debbie Bancroft, Douglas Hannant, Gillian Hearst-Shaw, Lydia Hearst, Annie Churchill, Tinsley Mortimer, Luigi Tadini, John Flanagan, Ann Colley, Mary Walker and the Group’s President Bob DeLuca. The opening celebrated artist Wanda Murphy’s premier solo show entitled “The Connection”. Lydia and Gillian Hearst-Shaw bought two of her colorful, linear paintings, which the artist says are a “celebration of life”. The abstracts works the sisters purchased are entitled, “I Think I Know” and “Stillness of My Heart” respectively. (Photo: Lydia Hearst, Amanda Hearst & Gillian Hearst Shaw). To see all photos from the evening, click here
An eclectic array of New York fashionistas, artists, socialites, models and media folk were in attendance including Lisa Gastineau, Nina Griscom, Antony Todd, Jamee Gregory and Peter Gregory, Mai Harrison, Somers White, Bettina Zilkha, Jackie and Francois Astier, Tony Ingrao and Randy Kemper, Gwen Rivers, Amanda Hearst and Winston Lapham, Christian Currie and Kathryn Jennings, All My Children’s Jacob Young, Camille Duvall Hero, artist Michael Perez, Melissa Berkelhammer, event planner Harriette Rose Katz, lighting guru Bentley Meeker, Eva and Brendon Dillon, Ann Washburn, Santiago Gonzalez, Campbell Robertson, Nello Balan and models Ines Misan, Heidi Albertsen and Sonja Wanda, the star of the new Mac cosmetics ad campaign. (Photo: Debbie Bancroft & R Couri Hay)
Murphy’s figurative paintings are a celebration of her own spiritual journey. Her abstract works have been compared to Chagall and Modigliani. Murphy’s ethereal figures express the struggle between human desires and spiritual evolution. The paintings explore the intimacy between the dream state and reality, expressing a direct connection with divine energy. The nurturing female figures float in a state of grace bathed in the white light of hope, healing and love. (Photo: Nicole Wright, Melissa Berkelhammer & Wanda Murphy)
multitude of publicists worked behind the scenes to make sure that their client's shindig did not go unnoticed. Pulling crowds from one venue or event to another seems to be the norm. My cell phone was ringing non-stop. "Chris, where should I go? "What's happening at Polo? You going to Sale Johnson's bash at Tavern?" Yeah, I know Tamie Peters and Christiaan McPherson asked me to stop by. Some group called the Elvis White Band is performing right? "Do you know about the party of the Dream Team of Doctors in Wainscott organized by Jane Scher?" Yes. "Lizzie Grubman and her boyfriend Chris Stern are up here........but while the scene is pretty mellow the booze is flowing , hors d'oeuvres are delectable and Dr. Jennifer Jablow is freaking hot!" "Who's going to the party at Madame Tong's JL Beach Club in Southampton?" "What about the Boys Harbor Fireworks?" Anyway, catch you later Chris, I gotta go get another drink. (Photo: Chris Stern & Lizzie Grubman)
Life for me is made up of the little moments. People, conversation, good libations and intimate and eclectic atmosphere. On Saturday evening, I found that courtesy of Couri Hay, my friends Mona Wyatt, philanthropic banker and urban athlete Dawn Palo and her friend, one of America's Best Doctors, Dr. Curtis W. Slipman (Director, Penn Spine Center. Chief, Division of Muscoskeletal Rehabilitation) who over dinner and drinks at Nello's gave my brother, Manhattan Society.com Photography Editor, Gregory Partanio, some well needed referrals and advice concerning repair and treatment of his herniated disks. (Photo: Mona Wyatt, Nello Balan & Heidi Alberston)
Social Life